Mutant unicorns A palace with a thousand human legs The most powerful army on the planet A first world city on the verge of collapse.In a city where teetering skyscrapers block out the sky, a city populated by lowly clerks, rumors have been circulating of a terror in the east When Carl, the lowliest clerk on the negative twelfth floor, discovers that the city is indeedMutant unicorns A palace with a thousand human legs The most powerful army on the planet A first world city on the verge of collapse.In a city where teetering skyscrapers block out the sky, a city populated by lowly clerks, rumors have been circulating of a terror in the east When Carl, the lowliest clerk on the negative twelfth floor, discovers that the city is indeed in grave danger, he sets out to warn the city s protectors the Unicorn Riders.Although Carl s missing father has left him a unicorn of his own, it is a small and sickly creature Even worse, there is a crab claw growing from its side But the Unicorn Riders need as much help as they can get, and soon every able rider sets out for the city s flooded perimeter in a steam powered Spanish galleon.An epic journey that spans desert and sea, through the bedchambers of a fearsome Eastern queen, and into the devastation of a conquered city, Unicorn Battle Squad is the story of a boy and his unicorn at the end of the world.
Unicorn Battle Squad Mutant unicorns A palace with a thousand human legs The most powerful army on the planet A first world city on the verge of collapse In a city where teetering skyscrapers block out the sky a city pop
In a city of skyscrapers and bureaucrats, a young clerk named Carl finds a unicorn named Yuri and is soon dragged into the world of Unicorn Riders. Can Carl find out what really happened to his father before the same thing happens to him?A wise man in the comment thread of this book said that with such an awesome title, the resulting book cannot hope to measure up. Sadly, he was right. On paper, it should be something I'd be all over. High weirdness level, bad-ass cyborg unicorns, dystopian sett [...]
This book was fugging awesome, okay? Seriously. I picked it up in Portland about a week ago, and I made sure it was the next thing I read after "Baby Geisha". The whole time I was reading Geisha, I kept looking at the cover for this one. It seemed to be calling my name, begging me to read it. So, one star for the cover.Then, I finished geisha, drank some wine or something, probably smoked a bit, and got ready to read this one. I had to work a lot during the week, so I couldn't just plow right th [...]
Unicorn Battle Squad has got to be, by far, one of the absolute best action/adventure fantasy novels I've ever read. It reads as if it's the best Terry Gilliam movie never made. First off, the unicorns in this book are totally brutal. These aren't your daughters pretty, magical, wonderful unicorns that spit rainbows and walk on clouds. They're intense, armored, and on steroids. The main character's unicorn, Yury, has a giant crab claw sticking out of its side. It can snap people in half. It's th [...]
I'm going to paraphrase Gene Siskel here- whenever he was confronted with a film whose premise was so bafflingly ludicrous that he couldn't decide what to make of it, he said something to the effect of "It is not necessarily done well, but one is surprised to find it done at all".In the case of this book, however, it is done well, or at least, much better than one would expect from a title like this book has. In the age of 'Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter", where everything can, and has been, ma [...]
Unicorn Battle Squad. You tell some people that’s the title of the book you’re currently reading and you might get a few odd looks. Who usually hears unicorns and immediately thinks it’s going to be something cool, or even have action and violence? I’ll admit it, I wasn’t so sure about this book when I decided to read it. But it has a cool cover and the quote on the front - ‘Somewhere between Kafka and My Little Pony, only even weirder than that sounds.’ By Ben Loory really piqued [...]
I wasn’t too sure I wanted to read a book about unicorns, but knowing it was written under the Bizarro banner, I figured I’d give it a try. I’d heard that Kirsten Alene’s first book, Love in the Time of Dinosaurs, was really good, but it wasn’t in front of me, and Unicorn Battle Squad was, so I read it. The story follows Carl, a clerk living a fairly structured life of work and boiled cabbage, but when his father dies (or goes missing), he ends up going down the rabbit hole. Before lon [...]
I'm surprised to see this book as well reviewed as it is, perhaps I've missed something? It has some deeper resonance with people? I see someone comparing it to Brazil and My little pony, I can't say I see it.I rounded Unicorn Battle Squad up in my traditional tour of the small press section, and I believe it's the only purchase there I've been disappointed in.We have some nonsense 'world building' that is sufficiently interesting that I'm willing to overlook that fact that it's nonsense, and th [...]
I was offered the chance to review this book and took up the chance as it has good reviews on various sites and it's fantasy/adventure genre is not too unlike what I normally read. The book follow a mid-level clerk called Carl, who lives in a city of clerks which is protected by the unicorn riders, but through a twist of events ends up with a small unicorn that was meant for his father. This simple beast ends up taking him on adventures over seas and deserts to protect the city he called home. W [...]
Kirsten's best work to date, dedicated appropriately to Baron Munchausen and Cameron Pierce. It's been described as a fantasy in the Terry Gilliam vein.Carl, son of a Unicorn Rider, not at all as wholesome as they sound, has just inherited a steed of his own named Yury with genetically fused alloy chest armor and sand crab DNA which results in a giant crustacean's claw jutting from its abdomen. It's downright hellfire and brimstone when Yury puts said appendage to use later in the story. One unf [...]
This was the second bizarro book that I've read. Although it wasn't as out there as the book I read by Carlton Mellick III, it was very good. The story wasn't at all what I expected, but it kept my interest through the whole book. This book is full of action and adventure, and the unicorns in the book definitely aren't the white, cuddly ones, I remember from my youth. I really enjoyed the book, but I hope she plans on writing a sequel because, the end left me wanting more.
This is a good mix of fantasy and bizarro. The story is packed with so much action it will leave your head spinning, and leaving you wanting more. I love a good anti-hero story.
Summary:There is a world where horses can be transformed into Unicorns and where an ordinary boy can be transformed into a Unicorn Rider. Carl is only a boy when his father disappears, leaving in his stead a scrawny horse named Yury. Together Yury and Carl must ready themselves for a war that threatens City 21, their home. Carl turns from lowly clerk to fledgling Unicorn Rider, battling through initiation tests, the Theklanian army, and his feelings for one important Theklanian Princess.My Revie [...]
This is a diversion from my normal reading fact it's a diversion from normal everything, and I loved it. Kirsten Alene is a master of the suspension of disbelief. She took me on a journey through absurdity covered in sludge and muck and I opened the cover every night to see what would happen next. Why? The unicorn and his boy.As bizarre as this adventure is, it's character driven and I adore Yuri the battle unicorn - giant crab claw and all. He's patient, ambitious, stubborn, demanding and loyal [...]
Unicorn Battle Squad is a creation of a fantastic imagination. Kirsten Alene has created a world that I loved visiting and hope to visit again soon. There is a modern city full of clerks. There are burly and brash Unicorn Riders who defend the city while they live in filth. There is our hero Carl who is searching for his father and obtains a Unicorn in the process. This is a fast paced story with colorful characters that I would love to learn more about. There is much action and bloodshed as wel [...]
This looked amusing, and had a lot of promise in concept, but ends up flawed to the point where I'm glad I didn't spend much on it. The main character is, as other reviewers note, a bit of a wimp, accomplishing things mostly by being ineffectual, and ending up progressing the plot mainly through passive rescue. The world presented, however, is rather cool, and could have been the source of a lot of interesting context, offsetting the weak main character. Sadly, none of that is ever explored, and [...]
For years I was plagued with a recurring nightmare. The details: I lived in a rotting, fetid, swampish home. Insects crawled inside the walls. Mold crept across crumbling wallpaper. Dank water dripped from unidentified cracks and the floorboards curled back to reveal a dark abyss underneath. I looked for the door but couldn’t find my way out. I was trapped in the wet, decrepit ruin of my subconscious mind.Finally, after years of experiencing this dream, it simply stopped. I thought I was done [...]
Just as the Surrealists created disturbing dreamlike effects by juxtaposing previously unrelated images, Kirsten Alene has given us a story that has something of the fantasies of L. Frank Baum and the bleak feeling of 1984 and other tales told of an entire society devoted to a single bureaucracy. As disparate as the themes are, they are a charming yet unsettling mix that works well in UNICORN BATTLE SQUAD.
While random in places, this book is fast-paced and well-written. A highly-entertaining read for anyone who wants to lose themselves in a book for an afternoon.
Bizarre and the ending was terrible, too cutoff.