Jul 22, 2019
I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality
Posted by Jerold J. Kreisman Hal Straus

AM I LOSING MY MIND People with Borderline Personality Disorder experience such violent and frightening mood swings that they often fear for their sanity They can be euphoric one moment, despairing and depressed the next There are an estimated 10 million sufferers of BPD living in America today each displaying remarkably similar symptoms a shaky sense of identity AM I LOSING MY MIND People with Borderline Personality Disorder experience such violent and frightening mood swings that they often fear for their sanity They can be euphoric one moment, despairing and depressed the next There are an estimated 10 million sufferers of BPD living in America today each displaying remarkably similar symptoms a shaky sense of identity sudden violent outbursts oversensitivity to real or imagined rejection brief, turbulent love affairs frequent periods of intense depression eating disorders, drug abuse, and other self destructive tendencies an irrational fear of abandonment and an inability to be alone For years BPD was difficult to describe, diagnose, and treat But now, for the first time, Dr Jerold J Kreisman and health writer Hal Straus offer much needed professional advice, helping victims and their families to understand and cope with this troubling,shockingly widespread affliction.

  • Title: I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality
  • Author: Jerold J. Kreisman Hal Straus
  • ISBN: 9780380713059
  • Page: 209
  • Format: Paperback
  • I Hate You Don t Leave Me Understanding the Borderline Personality AM I LOSING MY MIND People with Borderline Personality Disorder experience such violent and frightening mood swings that they often fear for their sanity They can be euphoric one moment despairing an

    Khadidja

    To sum things up:Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness marked by unstable moods, behavior, and relationships, It is one of the most common of all of the personality disorders. Most people who have BPD suffer from:-Problems with regulating emotions and thoughts-Impulsive and reckless behavior-Unstable relationships with other peopleWomen with BPD are more likely to have co-occurring disorders such as major depression, anxiety disorders, or eating disorders. In men, BPD [...]


    Danielle

    I may be in the minority here, but I hate this book. Its stance on those who deal with BPD is far from empathetic - rather, it perpetuates this myth that all people with BPD are ridiculous and borderline-dangerous individuals who care only for themselves. As someone who suffers from BPD myself, it had me wanting to slit my own throat for the good of humanity by the time I was done. How very "Borderline" of me.


    Claire

    This book is terribly outdated. It lists homosexuality as sexual deviation, and was published before the advent of SSRIs. It also predates the current treatment for borderline personality disorder, Dialetical Behavioral Therapy. Don't bother reading this.


    Rae

    This book uses astonishingly stigmatizing language. It uses phrases like, "The borderline does this" and "The bordline feels this" throughout. It's the same kind of language that, for example, old-school anthropological studies (ethnographies) tend to use-it renders "the borderline" as both a monolithic type and as other. It is insulting to presume that all people with this diagnosis are the same. Borderline was originally a diagnosis for people, nearly all women, who sought mental health care b [...]


    Nicol

    Is this book in dire need of an update? Yes! Published in 1989, it is about time for a re-haul or at the very least a new introduction. Furthermore, whether it was published in the 1980's or now, it lacks a feminist analysis which in turn normalizes violence (and in particular intimate partner violence) and heterosexist stereotypes about women and men's behaviors and emotions. This absence proves dangerous for both individuals suffering from BPD and their family members. The authors propose gene [...]


    Kali

    This book does nothing to convince me that the diagnosis of BPD is coherent or particularly useful. As always, case stories that neatly dovetail with the author's point of view are included, but I found the inclusion of gratuitous diagnosis of famous (and usually beautiful) women as BPD to be highly distasteful. Both Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana are dissected. I can see the appeal of fantasizing about offering therapy to such women, but working out those fantasies in book form is in questio [...]


    George

    This book is about people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), who experience violent mood swings, which interfere with their leading a normal life. The symptoms are: •A shaky sense of identity, •Sudden violent outbursts, •Severe mood shifts, •Oversensitivity to real or imagined rejection, •Brief, turbulent love affairs, •Frequent periods of intense depression, •Eating disorders, drug or alcohol abuse, and other self-destructive tendencies, •An irrational fear of abandonme [...]


    Noelle

    As a mental health professional, I can say that I found this book to be among the best written to help a person better understand their spouse, friend, parent, sibling, etc. who is suffering with Borderline Personality Disorder. It helps the reader to understand how one develops the characteristics one may encounter in relationships with these individuals. A bit technical at times, but true to the criteria as indicated in the Diagnostic and Statistical manual.


    Diana

    While some of the information given by the book can be useful I have stopped reading at 15-20% of it as i couldn't stand the patronizing tone and the way they say borderlines do things as if they wanted to instead of sometimes being just an acquired answer. Yes, I know we can somehow learn how to deal with things and control the answer to a degree, but it doesn't always work and it is not as if the borderlines want to or enjoy it. It is like an anxious person suffers from anxiety and you can't t [...]


    Bonnie

    This was an interesting read, but the main reason I read it was for research purposes. I have since learned that one of the characters in my book actually has a case of "The Double Bind" personality. Which is why I read The Double Bind by Chris Bohjalian; an enjoyable read, but again, not relevant to my research. The places research can take you! :)


    Ren Beachdell

    4.5 stars - While in dire need of an update, this book gives a multitude of case studies of fictitious people who are dealing with borderline personality disorder. Many of the other reviews for this book who suffer from BPD said it made them out to negative people and one person actually said something to the effect of the book making her want to "slit her throat" and made a sarcastic joke about how borderline that made her. In my opinion, as a diagnosed borderline myself, I feel that her comple [...]


    Violet Harmon

    This is the first book I read about BPD. Being a patient myself I found the personal stories of other BPDs and explanations of our conducts to be really good and felt like looking at myself in the mirror. I got a bit bored on the section about the types of psychotherapy because it was a little bit too technical for me but overall is a really good book about the disorder especially for the professionals and the people looking for different types of treatment available (at least in the USA). Must [...]


    Melinda

    I recently found out an acquaintance had been diagnosed as being bi-polar. I got this book at the library, and lo and behold found out that having a "borderline personality" is a similar but not same diagnosis as "bi-polar". They are similar conditions, but evidently bi-polar or manic-depressives have swings from one extreme to the other that follow cycles. Inbetween the opposite swings, they can be fairly stable. People with borderline personality condition (BPC) live constantly in a kind of fr [...]


    Luckngrace

    This was the ONLY book I could find when searching for something to help me understand my loved one's Borderline Personality Disorder. The book is amazingly detailed, easy to understand with numerous examples and suggestions.


    Lorie Ballard

    This was a very tough book to get through, because I saw so much of myself in it. If you have BPD, or you know of love someone with itis is a good book to read. It may help you in understanding a little of what they go through.


    Jennifer

    Described as the definitive work on the subject of borderline personality disorder (BPD), this book is informative and interesting to read. It does a great job of describing the current diagnostic tools and some of the methods of treatment that are helpful for people suffering from BPD. There is also some interesting discussion of societal trends and their possible impact on the increase in incidence of BPD. I appreciated the description of BPD as being on a spectrum like autism, as well as the [...]


    Marwa Salim

    It is written in the introduction of the book that it is considered the foundation of BPD, and it is indeed! It is the most informative book I have read so far about borderline personality disorder (BPD). I highly recommend it for both professionals and BPD sufferers or relatives. The professionals will get t know the historical background of the illness, in depth description of the symptoms and the most important part is the treatment and tolerance of the reluctant and changing patients. On the [...]


    Kati

    Okay, so there are several things about this book. It is an older book written about Borderline Personality Disorder. I believe it's intended audience was folks living with borderline or folks who know folks living with borderline. It is not clinical, but does present itself as helpful to counselors as an overview.As an overview of Borderline it was okay. There were lots of examples, which I always like.There were, unfortunately, some major hang-ups for me. One was that in the examples the autho [...]


    Sandra

    Just read it! I love this book. This is THE BOOK to OWN for anyone that is curious about learning about Borderline Personality Disorder, for the person that has BPD, for a loved one with BPD, or for the therapist. It gives so much information in this book. It is current (2010) and gives stories so you can see what BPD is like. I got this from the library and I couldn't renew it since so many people were lined up and hand it on hold. I put this on hold back in March 2012. I got it Dec 2012. That [...]


    Regina

    While this is a solid introduction to the basics about borderline personality disorder, I have to agree with previous reviews that the entire anecdote about the borderline woman of color who "misreads" or "projects" racism into her workplace conflicts is pretty damn offensive. There's also a troubling grouping of homosexuality with sexual deviancy that hasn't been updated in the new edition, a prissy judgmental attitude toward body modification as a symptom of borderline and a completely misinfo [...]


    Vrinda Pendred

    Very good for organising / understanding symptoms, etc. but completely lacked any sensitivity, and I truly resent this habit of talking about people with BPD as if they're impossible and not worth bothering with. If you do that, you're basically saying, 'Go ahead and kill yourself.'


    Bryn

    Sexist! Yuck.Keep pushin' me, keep pushin' my lo-oo-oove.


    sologdin

    Yet another text in my selfhelpocalypse last year.This one is the updated edition of the foundational text that set up the abstract psychiatric object ‘borderline personality disorder.'I’ll just say upfront that I’m not sure if such an object exists (i.e outside of abstract theory), and certainly I don’t much care for pop psych books such as this when distributed to laypersons (such as myself) who lack the education and experience to discern what behaviors and ideas by real persons might [...]


    ElysiumSun

    made me cry because there was a name for itbecause there are other people like me


    Leah

    Rating: 2.5 of 5A quick read, I'm not sure I Hate You, Don't Leave Me would prove all that enlightening, or even helpful, for anyone seeking a deep examination of borderline personalities. It's rather broad except for the case studies, which weren't varied enough, in my opinion.Chapter 4 - The Borderline Society was interesting, but readers have to make certain allowances for the year the book was published (1989) and realize a lot of the information, analyses and statistics are probably outdate [...]


    Jennifer

    One of the first books on Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). A very interesting and thorough read. While at some moments I was skeptical that the information being given was somewhat generalized and could apply to many people, not just people with BPD, there is a wealth of knowledge and experience here dedicated particularly to what may be helpful to know about BPD. I highly recommend this book apart from my one criticism above because it offers chapters specific to the latest known; forms o [...]


    April

    This book was recommended to me as a way of understanding some of the actions and behaviours of someone in my very recent past. Unfortunately, I didn't find it much help in that regard. The book does go into a fair amount of detailed information about BPD, but I found it's focus on getting the BPD person in your life treatment, and what those treatment options are to be less useful to me.If you are in a situation right now, today, with someone with BPD who you think may actually be open to getti [...]


    Maggie

    Originally published in 1989 this reads like a text book which has been updated, which, funnily enough, is the case. Helpful if you're writing an assignment on Borderline Personality Disorder but not as helpful as other books I have read on the topic ie Stop walking on eggshells : coping when someone you care about has borderline personality disorder and The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tools and Techniques to Stop Walking on Eggshells.The chapter on medications [...]


    Michael

    The book states that BPD should be graded on a spectrum rather than an all or nothing diagnoses, some BPD’s will be extreme while others mild, and some will present with much more dangerous qualities than others. BPD is complex! This is not a perfect book, it never claimed to be, I did find it informative and I gained some new perspectives on myself and past relationships that were disastrous. If someone has found them self deep in the world of a strong BPD I recommend doing more that just rea [...]


    Leon

    I Hate You Don't Leave Me by Kreisman and Straus is a good introduction to Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Not having read much in the line of psychology books, I also found it to be a helpful introduction to the discipline. My major complaint would be that the book itself is not exactly captivating, sometimes reading like a reference manual listing different medications or symptoms. Most points are belabored and repeated, probably as a means to aid memory.Regardless, it is a short and sa [...]



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      Posted by:Jerold J. Kreisman Hal Straus
      Published :2019-04-01T07:31:11+00:00